Back to school (yahoo…)


I know basically no one is excited for the start of school. It seems people who are somehow both sadists and masochists are excited for the start of a new school year. And while I was a bit teary-eyed at the end of last school year, I was not ready for school to start when it did.

While I cannot prepare every last freshie for every last torturous event that shall come their way, I do have a few tips and tricks to ease the pain in one class that I happen to be SPEC-TAC-U-LAR at: English.

1) Accept criticism/comments

They’re giving it for a good reason: something was flawed in your writing. So go back and fix it! And if you don’t know what’s wrong, go to them for help. English teachers aren’t demons: they have souls and hearts.


Seriously, do you know how many essays I’ve skimmed of my classmates where they had points taken off simply because they couldn’t understand what a red squiggly line means?? Please, spare yourself the pain. It hurts my soul and gives teachers something else to rant about.

How I feel about students who don’t do this.

3) Read your paragraphs out loud/Have someone read them over

Even I, the writing “goddess”, have made sentences that sounded slightly weird spoken aloud. So to make sure your teacher doesn’t catch them, have someone else catch them for you!

Rare depiction of said
Rare depiction of said “writing goddess”.

4) Read the outline/prompt your teacher gave you

Don’t go off script! You will be docked major points for that, I promise. If they say MLA format, do MLA format. If they want a topic sentence first, don’t you dare put a hook as the first sentence! And if it’s five paragraphs you had best make sure you don’t give them four paragraphs and two sentences. This isn’t fifth grade: this is high school.

While you may not have to go through such a detention... just avoid having to stay after school to reteach you everything.
While you may not have to go through a detention such as this, just avoid after school sessions where teachers try to reteach you everything.


Do not go to your friends for help if you have no clue what a runoff sentence is. Do not just Google all the words you don’t know. If you are truly and sincerely struggling with in class, work with the English department and school to get the help you need. Heck, find a tutor if need be. Most of these tips are for people who are comfortable with their writing but if your sentences still look like a third grader’s then by all means go to a teacher and get help.

Also go if you don’t know what the assignment was and your friends are too busy playing Pokemon or whatever to help you, talk to a teacher! Trust me, talking to them will help later on down the road.

So stay safe and don’t die on me yet soldier!

-The Lovely Ms. Artis

How I hope your class will look this year, lovelies! *mwah*
How I hope your class will look this year, lovelies! *mwah*

PS: Extra credit viewing for the extra nervous:

Back to school (yahoo…)